just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
