I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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