you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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