I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
