I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
