i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
