just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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