Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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