so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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