Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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