he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize