I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
