Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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