My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize