she smelled like a LAN party
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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