you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
