I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
