I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
false alarm, still single
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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