hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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