we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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