Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize