im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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