Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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