I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
