is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
