Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
