Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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