oh god the rape fog is back!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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