I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
