I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
