I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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