I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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