She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
