I heard we made out
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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