I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
