At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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