question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
