and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
