school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
