sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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