you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
