please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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