Me. At least after what I've been through.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
