Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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