It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
