we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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