She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
