So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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