Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
