Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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