Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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