I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize