Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

ok, come over...I have doritos

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(201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm

Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (1985)
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(510): View more from California

he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.

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(510): he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted. http://tfl.nu/vxmy

Replies (46) Good night (945) Bad night (5817)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.

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(541): I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog. http://tfl.nu/ft4h

Replies (53) Good night (3792) Bad night (965)
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(330): View more from Ohio

We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.

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(330): We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times. http://tfl.nu/361k

Replies (38) Good night (4958) Bad night (957)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.

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(973): I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung. http://tfl.nu/lg9m

Replies (18) Good night (5234) Bad night (1028)
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(585): View more from New York

Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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(585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq

Replies (9) Good night (6454) Bad night (1150)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...

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(920): Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around... http://tfl.nu/q37r

Replies (4) Good night (3227) Bad night (2241)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?

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(613): I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number? http://tfl.nu/y363

Replies (14) Good night (1379) Bad night (658)
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(713): View more from Texas

You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".

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(713): You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress". http://tfl.nu/1fwn

Replies (3) Good night (1369) Bad night (657)
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(540): View more from Virginia

AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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(540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo

Replies (2) Good night (1761) Bad night (610)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid

(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak

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(479): You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid (918): I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak http://tfl.nu/f0ta

Replies (6) Good night (1082) Bad night (550)
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(585): View more from New York

Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.

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(585): Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello. http://tfl.nu/2jqd

Replies (6) Good night (881) Bad night (1765)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."

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(617): I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..." http://tfl.nu/x7hv

Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (449)
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(914): View more from New York

my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.

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(914): my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/thk6

Replies (1) Good night (582) Bad night (265)
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(509): View more from Washington

You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.

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(509): You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises. http://tfl.nu/yksg

Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (237)

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