You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
