Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich http://tfl.nu/bipz
  Replies (78) Good night (2510) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can. http://tfl.nu/zubg
  Replies (26) Good night (1269) Bad night (4050)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous http://tfl.nu/kdtt
  Replies (11) Good night (966) Bad night (3912)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night http://tfl.nu/nbdz
  Replies (13) Good night (1638) Bad night (4410)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water. http://tfl.nu/rvne
  Replies (2) Good night (3585) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/5lux
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (2709)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to. http://tfl.nu/px3a
  Replies (6) Good night (1980) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus. http://tfl.nu/h461
  Replies (4) Good night (1196) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess. http://tfl.nu/j346
  Replies (3) Good night (445) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital. http://tfl.nu/hshf
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that. http://tfl.nu/qu2b
  Replies (2) Good night (1163) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv? (816): yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward http://tfl.nu/dn5c
  Replies (12) Good night (1469) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  He had a step stool to get in to his bed!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): He had a step stool to get in to his bed! http://tfl.nu/4n7f
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty" http://tfl.nu/vh2z
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst. http://tfl.nu/b8sh
  Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (230)

Randomize