OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off