So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
