Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control http://tfl.nu/izk5
  Replies (46) Good night (865) Bad night (8445)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did http://tfl.nu/11j3
  Replies (11) Good night (1175) Bad night (4395)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off. http://tfl.nu/09ia
  Replies (11) Good night (2853) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date http://tfl.nu/ynms
  Replies (29) Good night (14636) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating. http://tfl.nu/ajdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1121) Bad night (3423)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch. http://tfl.nu/u06n
  Replies (2) Good night (1269) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind. http://tfl.nu/kx07
  Replies (9) Good night (1781) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease. (507): Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits. http://tfl.nu/blof
  Replies (18) Good night (2822) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/exu8
  Replies (6) Good night (1655) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here. http://tfl.nu/g9cl
  Replies (1) Good night (559) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ you're perfect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday. (303): Jesus Christ you're perfect. http://tfl.nu/7qs9
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think. http://tfl.nu/6ltd
  Replies (1) Good night (303) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler. http://tfl.nu/7ja0
  Replies (14) Good night (876) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it

  (408): View more from California

  its winning. its definitely happening

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it (408): its winning. its definitely happening http://tfl.nu/yixq
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (369)

Randomize