Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call (720): Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days http://tfl.nu/6f8h
  Replies (4) Good night (957) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!? http://tfl.nu/8eh6
  Replies (21) Good night (664) Bad night (4966)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4178) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage? http://tfl.nu/r2cg
  Replies (6) Good night (2192) Bad night (1787)
• Favorite

  (819): View more from Quebec

  there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (819): there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive http://tfl.nu/f5fj
  Replies (3) Good night (2586) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!! http://tfl.nu/msw0
  Replies (11) Good night (2225) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had http://tfl.nu/a4wf
  Replies (2) Good night (1431) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy. http://tfl.nu/6smo
  Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans. http://tfl.nu/qyi6
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe. http://tfl.nu/np5r
  Replies (10) Good night (1479) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now." http://tfl.nu/g734
  Replies (6) Good night (1592) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not http://tfl.nu/o8dj
  Replies (5) Good night (481) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot. http://tfl.nu/dd00
  Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night http://tfl.nu/x7bo
  Replies (1) Good night (182) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport http://tfl.nu/ttkn
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (180)

Randomize