Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And then he peed in my hair
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