and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Success! We fucked roommates!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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