i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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