This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
