I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
