I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
